Adventures In Poly

Polyamory is something I’ve dabbled in before. No, dabbled isn’t a good word. You don’t dabble in poly. Not really anyway. But this is the situation. I was married and came out bi to my “then” husband. He agreed to allow me to explore my sexuality and I ended up with a girlfriend. In this dynamic, it was more of a “V” with me at the hinge because my ex and my girlfriend rarely played together and they weren’t bonded in the same way she and I were. There were times I loved it and there were times I hated it.

After I broke up with my first girlfriend, I rebounded pretty hard and quick with another girl. This one was different because we formed more of a triad. The three of us were inseparable and there was an enormous amount of trust between us. If it wasn’t a rebound and my ex and I weren’t on our way out of the marriage, it would have been perfect.

I definitely believe it’s possible to love more than one person fully and completely. I also believe that it’s possible for three people to share with each other that deep love. There are risks, of course, but isn’t that the case with any relationship? You can’t worry about what might happen, otherwise you could miss out on the most amazing thing you’ll ever know. This is why Sir and I are ready to actively seek our third. It’s not without frustration or even a little hesitation, but it’s time for us to find the man who will join us, maybe forever. (Well as forever as you can be in this mortal life.)

So now the search begins. We are a couple and settled with each other, but we’re dating. So many wouldn’t understand this concept. Sometimes I can’t even get my brain around it. How can we be happy together and love each other, but still suffer the heartache of rejection? And who the hell would want to put themselves through it? I guess the bottom line is that nothing that’s really worth it is ever easy.

**Sorry for rambling on and on. I just needed to write something and this is what was on my mind in the moment I clicked “new post.”

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