When There Are Tough Times

Sometimes it would be easier to just give up when you hit a bump in the road, but where is the reward in that? When things are easy, the pay off isn’t nearly as great and if you give up, you run the risk of missing out on something wonderful had you stuck it out.

The trick is knowing when giving up or sticking it out is the right thing to do. I don’t think it would be surprising to anyone to hear that Sir and I have had our share of struggles. I don’t think there is a single relationship out there that is perfect. Any time you get more than on set of opinions, ideals, or expectations together, there will be conflict. What matters isn’t the fact that conflict exists, but instead what you do with that conflict and whether or not you learn from it.

The best arguments and misunderstandings are the ones that bring you closer together and actually strengthen the bonds and trust you share. Not that any argument is “good” just that arguments can offer something for each partner if they are willing to learn.

It’s interesting to talk about arguing and such in the context of D/s because I think some people believe that if the Dom is in charge, then surely there won’t be a disagreement. I guess that could be the case in some instances, but in reality, a submissive…even one who identifies as a slave…still has free will and he/she can choose whether or not to exercise that will or not.

The point I’m trying to make is, don’t give up. Take some time to calm down and let the initial emotions of the moment subside, then go back and talk rationally about what’s going on. Make the effort and things will work out. It’s all about discussion and compromise. But don’t be afraid to do the what’s right if that means it’s time to move on. Right now, I know in my heart that it’s not time to move on, so I will fight with all that I have. My Sir makes me happy and His love and loyalty to me make me want to serve Him and make him happy. 

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He Made me Squirt!

Oh yeah. You read that right. I thought it was a myth and something I would never experience, but man oh man, Sir made me squirt.

A couple nights ago we started off fairly vanilla in our foreplay, but on my request to “make me cry,” Sir flipped His switch into full Dom mode. As I mentioned in a recent post, I have been a brat like you wouldn’t believe. I was so much of a brat that Sir pretty much gave up on our D/s. I take responsibility for that and I needed to purge my feelings of regret. I needed Him to punish me for my bad behavior. I wanted to feel pain at His hand…or belt…pain that cleansed me from the heart-wrenching guilt I harbored. As He always does, Sir delivered and while I didn’t cry, the euphoria that washed over me definitely factored into what came after.

Our relationship has always been about trust and I firmly believe with my whole being that the trust we share is exactly how He was able to bring me completely over the edge. He listens to me. Not just my words, but all of me. He reads my body and my sounds. He knows what turns me on when He does it and even without me speaking a word, He knows to keep doing it. That’s what happened and it was completely by accident that we stumbled onto the one thing that pushes me past the edge.

After throwing me over the edge of the bed and belting my ass hard, He fucked me like he always does. I was so wet and my body was so completely immersed in arousal that He slid in so easily. After a few moments, He commanded me on my back with my ass hanging slightly over the edge of the bed. Taking my ankles in His hands, He spread His arms out which in turn spread my legs wide apart opening me up to Him. Feeling Him press His cock against my swollen pussy was enough to send me sprinting to the edge and He knew that, but He wasn’t ready for me to come yet, so He looked at me with those steely black eyes and said, “Don’t you cum yet.” I barely managed to squeak out, “Yes, Sir.”

Rocking His hips back and forth, He rammed into me, every thrust sending a wave of pleasure through my body. Then it happened. He pulled out just a little to far and instead of sliding into me again, His cock slid up between my lips, gliding across my clit. An instant jolt of pleasure shuddered through me and I could feel my pussy teetering, ready to spasm at any second. After a moment or two, looking up at Him, I begged with my eyes for release to which He obliged and commanded forcefully, “NOW!” My abdomen tightened and my clit throbbed as my pussy contracted in spasms.

Moaning loudly, I lost myself in the sensation of His cock rubbing my clit coupled with the pleasure of my orgasm. I could feel something different this time. A different type of pressure. Instead of being afraid, I rode the wave. I think Sir saw this and He commanded again, “NOW! Cum for me!” And that did it. It was like a small explosion of pleasure erupted from my core. Now I’m not gonna lie and say I gushed all over, but the moment I felt wetness like I’ve never felt before was intense to say the least, but also worrisome. I wasn’t sure what had happened, but when all was said and done after a little investigating, we determined that it happened. I “squirted.”

Fast forward to the next night. Now I was content with what happened. The orgasm was intense and it was my first time ever having more than just a little increased wetness, but Sir wanted to explore whether or not it could happen again or if it was just a fluke. We began much the same as the previous night, except there was no spanking. He positioned me on the edge of the bed again and after fucking me hard for a few minutes, He pulled out and rubbed the head of His cock against my clit. I can’t even explain why this act pushes me to the edge. There really are no words. Needless to say I found myself teetering the bring again. Sir stopped rubbing, stepped back a bit so He could watch and with His steely gaze locked on me, He uttered the command, “NOW!” It was like the ultimate release at my core as spasms rocked my pussy and liquid poured out all over the edge of the bed. Still not gushing, but definitely cumming all over. Sir then finished off by shooting His load all over me and I just lay there in awe.

I didn’t think I would ever squirt. I’m 40 years old and while I’ve not had a lot of partners, I have had a lot of sex with the few partners I’ve had and no one has ever been able to get me even remotely close to this. That being said, I knew from the first night we spent together that if anyone could make me squirt, it would be Sir.

Adventures In Poly

Polyamory is something I’ve dabbled in before. No, dabbled isn’t a good word. You don’t dabble in poly. Not really anyway. But this is the situation. I was married and came out bi to my “then” husband. He agreed to allow me to explore my sexuality and I ended up with a girlfriend. In this dynamic, it was more of a “V” with me at the hinge because my ex and my girlfriend rarely played together and they weren’t bonded in the same way she and I were. There were times I loved it and there were times I hated it.

After I broke up with my first girlfriend, I rebounded pretty hard and quick with another girl. This one was different because we formed more of a triad. The three of us were inseparable and there was an enormous amount of trust between us. If it wasn’t a rebound and my ex and I weren’t on our way out of the marriage, it would have been perfect.

I definitely believe it’s possible to love more than one person fully and completely. I also believe that it’s possible for three people to share with each other that deep love. There are risks, of course, but isn’t that the case with any relationship? You can’t worry about what might happen, otherwise you could miss out on the most amazing thing you’ll ever know. This is why Sir and I are ready to actively seek our third. It’s not without frustration or even a little hesitation, but it’s time for us to find the man who will join us, maybe forever. (Well as forever as you can be in this mortal life.)

So now the search begins. We are a couple and settled with each other, but we’re dating. So many wouldn’t understand this concept. Sometimes I can’t even get my brain around it. How can we be happy together and love each other, but still suffer the heartache of rejection? And who the hell would want to put themselves through it? I guess the bottom line is that nothing that’s really worth it is ever easy.

**Sorry for rambling on and on. I just needed to write something and this is what was on my mind in the moment I clicked “new post.”

The Prodigal Sub Returns

i’ve been a brat to the point that Sir gave up on me. Not our relationship, but my role as His submissive. It breaks my heart to think i was such a pain in the ass that Sir just threw His hands up and walked away from the D/s aspect of our relationship. i will say this much, it had a very negative impact on us. i don’t think either of us realized the wholeness that these roles bring to our lives.

After a lot of talking about a number of things, i asked Him to be my Sir again. i think we are still in a time of consideration, but i can tell you i already feel so much better. i can’t stop being a brat completely. It’s who i am. But, i am fully expecting to be punished for any bratty behavior and the consequences are completely in His hands. You bet your ass i’ll be writing about the first time He blisters my ass for talking back or not doing something i’ve been told to do. i can’t wait. i’m terrified, but i can’t wait.

Thank you to all my readers who have stuck around and waited patiently for my return and welcome to any new readers i have. i welcome comments and positive conversation on my posts. Please, don’t be shy!