I have to admit, the idea of having a job outside the home is frightening. The sad thing is, it’s become a necessity. I’ve worked before, so it’s not that I don’t think I can do it. I know I can do it. I just hate how I feel at the end of a work day and how exhausted I am from having to cope with anxiety all through the day. I know I’m a different person when I have a job and I worry that I won’t be able to care for Sir the way I have been.
On the other hand, I know having a job will help Sir tremendously and we will just have to work as a team to determine new expectations and perhaps incorporate a few new rituals to make my transition to working a little easier.
I don’t want to work and Sir knows this, but I’m at a time and place where I need to work, so I will. It’s part-time for now and that’s good. It will be ok and I will be ok because I have someone who is here to support me and remind me why I’m doing it. Just wanted to share a little of what’s going on in my head. I could go into more detail, but I’m out of time, so maybe that will come later. I can explain what about working is so difficult for me.
Oh…and we are going to another party tomorrow night! YAY!!! I don’t think we will play just yet, but you never know what will happen.