Exploring…

ex·plore

verb (used with object)
1. to traverse or range over (a region, area, etc.) for the purpose of discovery: to explore the island.
2. to look into closely; scrutinize; examine: Let us explore the possibilities for improvement.
3. to investigate into, especially mechanically, as with a probe.
4. to search for; search out.
Found on Dictionary.com

Sir and i are still exploring the world of BDSM and the different types of D/s relationships that are out there. What exactly does that mean? Well, it means we are looking, reading, talking, and eventually trying new things to see what we like and what we don’t like. We have only been living the lifestyle in real time since May and over the first few months, it was only occasional when i was able to come home from my job. There were aspects that were part of the 24/7 relationship, but being that i was away from Him for days at a time, only so much could be done. Also, i had a roommate which really limited my activities in my dorm. Since i’ve officially come home to Him in August, we have taken that part of our relationship a little more seriously. We are always talking about things we like and might want to try as well as things that scare the crap out of us and fall within our hard limits.

Sometimes i feel like i’m the one leading the exploration simply because i come to Him with ideas of things i am interested in trying. Part of the reason this is the case is that i am home all day while He’s working. i have time to look at pictures and read about new things. He doesn’t. So if i find something interesting, i mention it to Him, maybe show Him a picture. The decision to pursue further exploration is completely up to Him.

Right now we know we enjoy light bondage (with His ties and/or bondage tape), blind folds, spanking (bare hand, belt, wooden spoon, ruler), hair pulling, biting, scratching, fisting (though He doesn’t do it as much as i’d love for Him to), rough sex, rape role play, role play in general, humiliation play, threesomes (MMF and FMF), clothes pins, forced orgasms.

Things we’ve talked about: rope bondage, flogging, riding crops, wax play, cages, Master/pet play, collar/leash, chastity. i’m sure there are more, but we talk so much that i’m probably forgetting something. i do have to say that the caging and chastity are His ideas, but nothing excites me more than Him using either of those as punishment. Especially when i’ve been a naughty girl and touch myself without permission.

It usually begins with one of us bringing up the new element in conversation, or with Sir, the Sadist usually mentions something while contemplating my latest punishment. The idea is mentioned and we have a conversation about it. Nothing is pushed and we aren’t going to jump up and go buy the stuff right now or anything. This is just about talking. Then it might come up again sometime later. For me, the big one right now is rope bondage. i don’t know why, but i really want to experience some of the really intricate rope bondage that’s out there. The thing is, i want Sir to be the one to do it to me, but He can’t do it unless someone teaches Him. As far as ropes are concerned, we need to network with others like us in our area to seek a mentor and i think He’s interested. i’m really excited for Him because i can guarantee that once He embraces the power afforded Him through this type of bondage, the Sadist will have a field day.

This process is an amazing one as we discover new things with each other and the fact that we talk about everything before and after it happens makes it so much easier to stay on the same page. In fact, i’m finding that things i once considered hard limits are slowly moving over to soft limit status. Sir laughs and says He’s not sure He’d ever be okay doing some of those things, but i tell Him, “It’s okay, Sir. i’m just letting You know that i trust You to the point that should You want to, i’m willing to try. Just be prepared for me to throw on the brakes at any moment. Trying doesn’t necessarily mean i can do it.”

i don’t feel like this post really says much, but i hope it says enough. The main thing i want to get across is that exploring can be fun, scary, rewarding, and a little dangerous, but when you do it with someone you trust, the overall experience is well worth it and amazing.

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7 comments on “Exploring…

  1. Two human beings who happen to share a mutual alternative life-style of choice, discussing what it is that will compliment their relationship. A wonderful statement of trust and faith in each others interest and tastes. This is what makes for a fulfilling and loving bond. I couldn’t agree more thank you for sharing….

  2. gemini says:

    I agree with Joseph..It is your relationship and your Domination and submission..let it develop as your love, trust and faith in each other grows. Very best wishes to you 🙂

  3. Ethan says:

    This sounds like a fun journey that you are taking.

  4. flowersfirst says:

    When I first started out I thought I had all these limits, but now I can’t even remember what they were! It’s nice to be able to talk about parameters beforehand, but we all know who is boss! Keep exploring your submission and sexuality, the rewards are well worth it!
    Thanks for the post!!

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