i still don’t seem to give a fuck about much today, and the one thing that drives me crazy about that is i’m letting Him down. So maybe that means i do give a fuck, i just don’t have the energy to do anything about it. i’ve been trying to figure out what’s going on. Sir even asked me if my icky feeling is emotional or physical. i honestly don’t know. The majority of my “symptoms” are physical: soreness and fatigue being the top contributors. My throat is a bit scratchy and i’m nasally, so it could be my allergies are just being a pain in the ass. It could be more, but since the soreness is actually isolated to specific areas that have been overused as of late, i’m not ready to say i have the flu or some other malady.
Sir and i had a great weekend. It was very active…in the bedroom. We tried some new positions and i think we must have had sex like 10 or more times Friday-Sunday. Like i said, it was great. Awesome even, but i do think it was…a tad too much for us. It’s great to be eager to try new things and i’m so happy to have that with Sir, but we aren’t 21 anymore and it’s weekends like these that remind us of such. Our bodies are having a hell of a time keeping up with our sexual appetites.
i told Sir we need to take a couple of days off from having sex. i was only half serious simply because i know we can’t. Our pheromones are an explosive combination and even when i’m not necessarily in the mood, if He is…i can’t resist Him. It works the other way around as well. The other night, for example, we went to bed and had no intention of doing anything, but lying there together, kissing and rubbing each other’s bodies…well we ended up fucking…the next morning, same thing. This morning is the first time in a long time that i didn’t send Him off to work with an afterglow smile on His face.
Last night, there was no hope because i couldn’t keep my hands off Him, which is usually the case. That’s when He said, “I may have to challenge you. We should see how long you can go without touching me.” i just looked at Him because i know He wouldn’t be able to resist me and how is that fair. Plus, He should know that if He challenges me, i will be successful which means no nookie for Him until He gives in…or i would fail just because i don’t want to go without for that long. It could be an interesting thing if it’s done right though. Say we need 2 or 3 days to recover from a weekend of intense sex, so that’s the goal and for every time i touch Him, i get some consequence. That could work, but i still might choose to fail depending on the consequences given.
Needless to say, we ended up fucking last night too. Sir has been really wanting a guy, but we don’t have a guy in our reserves, so i have to do my very best to give Him the kind of play He might get with/from a guy. There’s only so much i can do, but i always give my best effort. After i had played with Him to His satisfaction, it was my turn. He started off by taking me from behind and apparently i was quite wet as a result of playing with His ass. Every thrust sent pleasure like a jolt of awesomeness running through my body. Then He remembered i wanted a spanking.
He left me lying on the bed on my stomach and went to get His belt. The whooshing sound it made coming out of the belt loops and the clanking of the buckle sent a shiver up my spine. i lay there, anxious, wondering what He would do, and ready to feel the pain that i love so much. He gently flipped the leather strap onto my back and dragged it down the length of my body. Goose bumps pricked up all over my skin and my pussy grew wetter in anticipation. Then He started flipping it against my skin a little harder. It was enough to sting, but not enough to knock my breath away. He worked the strap up and down my back and ass, sure to cover both the left and right side of my body.
i think i counted about 10 or 15 warm up smacks, each one getting progressively harder than the last. My skin was stinging slightly and though i couldn’t see it, i’m sure it was pink in color. Now Sir was ready to take it to the next level. “Are you ready?” i was ready, but not really, so i couldn’t really say yes. He then asked, “How many do you think you can handle at almost full power?”
“Sir, i don’t know. We haven’t done this is awhile and i’m not sure what i can handle.”
“Well then move down here in position and give me that ass. We’ll see what you can take.” I wiggled down positioning myself over the edge of the bed with my ass at the perfect position and height for Him to spank me. He pulled His arm back and began. The belt came down on my right cheek at about ¾ of His power and the initial strike hurt something fierce, but soon that feeling was gone and suddenly i felt warmth wash over my ass and through my body. My clit tingled and wetness formed inside my pussy. Before i could enjoy the aftermath of the first hit, Sir brought the belt down on my left cheek. It felt very much the same as the first one, warmth and all. Then he brought down the third hit to my right cheek and the fourth on my right again.
The fifth strike came down hard and fast, almost Sir’s full strength. I gripped the sheets as the terror of real pain rattled through my body. It was almost as if i could feel it in my bones. My heart rate increased and i yelled out, “Fuck!” Burying my face in the sheets, i breathed in and out slowly, trying to focus on the pain. Sir paused a moment and ran His hand over my back and ass, reminding me He was there and not going anywhere. As the pain subsided, i noticed my clit throbbed as Sir brought the belt down on my other cheek nearly as hard as the last. i just kept my face in the sheets, holding back tears and letting the endorphins do their thing in my body. Sir tossed His belt over to the corner and came up behind me grabbing my hips and pressing His pelvis into my ass. Lifting my head from the bed, i whispered, “Sir, will you hold me please,” and the tears fell. He lay down on the bed and took me in His arms, holding me tight and kissing my forehead. i looked up to Him and said, “Thank You, Sir. i really needed that.”
“Did you enjoy that?” Of course He couldn’t really know without me telling Him, but i showed Him instead. i guided His hand to my sopping wet pussy so He could feel just how much i enjoyed it. “Oh, I guess you did enjoy that. You know, you did very well, the second to last one was just about as hard as I could swing that belt.”
i kissed Him and responded, “Thank You, Sir and yeah that one did hurt, really bad, but you can tell it’s what i needed. My body craves it and thank You so much for being willing to give it to me. You know, Sir, i probably could have taken more. i’m not sure how much more, but i think i still had more in me to give. Please push me further the next time.” He simply nodded and smiled as i put my head on His chest, relaxed and ready to pass out. That didn’t happen right away, but i went to sleep a happy sub because Sir took care of my needs and i pleased Him by meeting His.
Then why did i wake up feeling the lack of motivation again? It’s weird because i’m certain it’s not depression. i’m actually very happy overall. It’s just like i have this underlying bit of bleck that’s just nagging at me. i don’t know how to get rid of it and i need to snap out of it because if i don’t, the spankings i start getting aren’t going to be so fun. i want my motivation back!