I Am His Completely…Mind, Body, & Soul

i wrote this over a month ago on another site. It’s the first thing i ever wrote about Sir and me. You can see so much is the same, but simply in the grammar of the post, you can see where O/our relationship has changed and become more seriously immersed in the lifestyle.

I met Sir online in a 3D social gaming platform. We started off as friends just spending time together talking. We discovered we had a lot in common and shared many of the same struggles in our real lives. Our online time together was an escape from reality. It was a time where we could put away the facade we wore everyday in our lives and truly be our selves. Ironic, isn’t it?

When we first started spending time together, I had been in 2 very abusive online D/s relationships. I was new to the lifestyle and these men took that as an opportunity to take advantage of my naivety. I knew I wanted to be someone’s submissive, but the experience with these men really made me shy away from it. Sir wasn’t even into the lifestyle. In fact, He had a lot of preconceived notions about it, but that’s the wonderful thing about Him, He listens to me. He let me explain that it doesn’t even really have to be about sex, that’s just some of the really fun parts of it. It’s more about a person devoting him/herself to his/her Dom/me fully and completely. It’s the promise of always being there in anyway to serve Him/Her. He was intrigued, but not quite ready to take the plunge.

Then it happened, one night we were emoting and He became very dominant. It felt so right and when we talked about it later, He agreed that He would like to give me a collar. Once we made the step to be more than just friends in the context of the online community, we decided that we would explore D/s together since we were both so new to it. We tried things out and explored our boundaries. It was never really a prominent part of our online relationship, but it was always there and I always respected Him and took every opportunity to serve Him whenever possible.

It’s been an interesting journey that has led us to where we are today. When we met, we were both in failing marriages. He knew His was in its last days, I was still clueless. I had no idea that I was married to the wrong man and the major depressive episode I was experiencing was mostly because of that. The opportunity for us to meet in person came up, as well as an opportunity for me to get out of my dead end life, so I packed what fit into my car and drove 1/2 across the country to meet him. We had talked about it and agreed there was no expectation for anything more than friendship when we met just in case we didn’t have the same chemistry in person as we had online. It made sense because we were both still hurting from our previous relationships and we didn’t want to just be rebounding. This way, if there was no expectation, there was less chance of getting hurt. When we saw each other for the first time, that all went out the window. I knew I wanted to be with Him and I wanted to jump on Him and kiss Him the moment I saw Him, but was afraid. I wasn’t sure what He was feeling. (He would tell me later He felt the same exact thing.)

It didn’t take long for Him to embrace the role of my Dom. While at dinner that night, he was teasing me about something and I shooshed him. He raised his eyebrow and said, “Are you sure you want to shoosh me?” It surprised me because I didn’t think He would be such a natural. I smiled and simply said, “I’m sorry, Sir. I won’t do it again.” When He took me home, we sat on the couch talking for a moment when He stopped and looked at me and then the floor at his feet then said, “My Sweet, isn’t there something you promised me you would do if we ever met in person?” I didn’t have to ask what he was talking about, I knew, and I simply moved myself to the floor and sat at his feet. I looked up at him and smiled as I rubbed his legs then put my head in his lap. I was home.

My relationship with Sir has been the most rewarding and amazing thing I have experienced in my life. We have only been together for a total of 17 months (1 year online and 5 months in real) but I feel closer to him than I ever did with the man to whom I was married for 17 years. I feel complete and I have in no way lost my identity as a strong woman. In fact, I feel stronger and maybe even a little more independent now that I am in a D/s relationship. In a lot of ways I think it’s because I know He will always have my back. I may be His submissive which means I must serve Him, but he is my Dom, my Sir, my Protector. His responsibility is far greater than any I may have. This is a man I would lay my life down for, in a second, but I know He wouldn’t let me. I have complete and full trust in Him that what He does is always in my best interest.

One year ago, I would have never imagined myself typing this, but now as I do it, I would not want my life to be any different. Being His girl has awakened in me a deeper love than I have ever known and made me happier than I have ever been.

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