A Letter to Sir

This morning after Sir left for work, i completed the one major task He asked me to do and i sat down at my computer and started doing what i do every morning after my household chores are done-i started doing searches and reading about different types of D/s relationships. i am submissive, that is as clear as can be, but i know i am not a slave. i used to fight my submission tooth and nail. i didn’t want to admit that the Bible is right, that the earlier days of wives serving their husbands is the way it should be…at least for me. i will never tell someone else they should live like this because that may not be the case, but after a failed marriage, i am ready to be Taken in Hand and ruled by my Head of Household.

Writing those words down seem surreal to me, but as i do i feel a tingle that begins deep in my heart and radiates out. Believe it or not, saying those words actually causes me to become slightly aroused. What is it about serving Sir that makes me feel this way?

i should apologize now, i have a very stream-of-consciousness way about me. i do it in conversations and i find i do it in writing. i promise i will do my best to stay on topic, but that may be impossible. i do vow that whenever i find myself hopping a rabbit trail, i’ll eventually bring it back to the original topic at hand. That being said, this morning, i was reading other blogs by women similar to me, most of whom are already in a relationship like the one i desire. You see, i have Sir, so i have the Man. W/we know that we are a D/s couple, but W/we have been trying to find where we fit on the spectrum and how W/we want to develop our relationship. Neither of U/us was heavily into the lifestyle until we met online. Even then, it was a very cursory aspect of who we were as a couple. That is why i am so pleased to have discovered Domestic Discipline and 1950s Household relationships. i’m not one for labels, but i am one who seeks guidance when i’m doing something new. i’m not eager to put a label on O/our relationship, but it’s comforting to know there are others out there who value these same principles in a relationship.

i came across a blog…i can’t seem to find it at the moment and when i do, i will post a link to it…and i shared it with Sir. i said, “Sir, if it pleases You, this is the type of relationship i would like to have with You.” He simply smiled and patted my head as i lay it in His lap. This morning as W/we lay in bed, i asked him (just like i do every morning), “Sir, what would You like me to do today while You’re at work?” He gave me one task. While i am pleased that He even feels me worthy enough to do this one task for Him, i am so eager to do more. my existence is for Him and Him alone. my purpose is simple: to pleasure Him in anyway that He needs or wants to be pleasured. That prompted me to write Him an email (something i used to do every morning for about 2 months and then stopped). This is what i wrote:

To my most amazing Sir,

As i sit here, having cleared Your desk and preparing to organize it, i can’t help but think that maybe You are concerned with giving me tasks to complete during the day. Sir, i want you to. In fact, it is in completing any task for You that i find worth in the role i have in Your life. i can honestly say that i feel as if i were put here on Earth not only to serve our Heavenly Father, but to serve You as well. i can’t explain how this feeling has come to be, but i know it started long ago when Thom and Wendy first began seriously dating in SL. i never intended to be Yours in RL, but i had an overwhelming urge to do anything and everything for You that i could. Of course those options were quite limited due to the circumstances of O/our relationship, but i’ve told You from early on that i felt a special connection with You. It’s like W/we are soulmates. i don’t know how to explain it, but taking a Biblical stance, Eve was made from a piece of Adam, right? Would it be so hard to believe that maybe i was actually made from You? Ok…ok…i read over that now and it does sound ridiculous, but in all seriousness, i do feel like that. i feel as if i was made to be Your helper and no one else’s. Perhaps it’s simply a matter of maturity and learning about who i am as a woman and what my ideal role on this planet is meant to be OR maybe it took finding You for me to discover this about myself.

Sir, my life is Yours to do with as you see fit. i completely trust You with every facet of my life. i am willing to turn everything over to You because You know me best and You know what i need. i also trust that You will always listen to my concerns, should i have any. Sir, the more time I spend with You, the more opportunities i have to serve You, the more i want to serve You and to serve You always. If it pleases Sir, when You aren’t so stressed out because of school, i would like to sit down and make a daily schedule for me. Maybe a list of things that You expect for me to have done when You come home from work. i know i’m a grown woman and smart and i can probably recognize what needs to be done on a daily basis, but the more reading i do on the internet and the more i see what other D/s couples are doing, the more i see what i would love to have with You. i want a contract with you. Something that we both sign. Obviously it’s not legal and binding, but it will be an emotionally binding contract. W/we can take care of the legal aspect later, if it pleases You. i want to know your expectations of me and if i should fail to meet your expectations, i need you to discipline me. i am going to do my best to always put Your needs first, one of the hardest things i’ll do, i think. There are some needs You have that i can’t fulfill and i have to understand that You will need another to fulfill them. It’s hard for me to do, Sir, but you come first, always.
i know that at some point i will have to get a job and i know You know that doesn’t excite me. i would rather be at home taking care of the apartment, making you supper, and writing more than anything. i’m scared that if i do get a job, i won’t be able to serve You the way i have been. i will be exhausted from work and my focus will be on that, not You, but if it pleases You for me to find a job, i will find a job.
Sir, i can’t begin to tell You how much i love You. The funny thing is, i never knew how much i could love until i met You and to think i love You more and more each day.
Thank You, Sir for allowing me to love You and serve You.
Forever Yours,
Your sweet

You will notice i refer to SL. If you aren’t familiar with it, that is Second Life, an online social gaming platform. It’s incredibly complex in many ways, so very difficult to explain, but a lot of relationships are formed in SL and that is how i met Sir. W/we had no intention of ever having a real time relationship. W/we only ever expected to be a couple in SL. Thom and Wendy are O/our avatars in Second Life and the beginning of what W/we now share in real time. at some point i will write about SL and how it led to where i am today, but for now, this is all you need to know about it.

Sir is the main reason i’m finding myself…the real me. i have so much i want to share with my readers, i just don’t know where to begin, but for today i am happy to share this letter.


An Introduction

i was never one who thought much about blogging, but in recent months i’ve decided i want to write more and instead of trying to write a novel and be published, i thought perhaps digital media was a good place for me to start. Who knows, maybe all this writing will someday result in a book, but for now it will just be my thoughts as i journey further into submission to Sir.

The primary purpose of my blog will be as the title indicates, to trace my personal journey into submission as i’ve discovered BDSM and found the Man to whom i can fully devote myself. It will begin in my previous life and continue through now. i will use it to document my accomplishments as well as failures and to keep track of my feelings as i grow and learn.  As i become more familiar with the lifestyle and what it means to me, this will hopefully become a resource for others entering the lifestyle the way so many blogs and personal journeys have been for me.